Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
