i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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