I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
