A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he shaved USA in his pubs
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize