This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
