Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
