Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
