there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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