i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
