he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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