my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
