Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
