This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
There are leaves in my underwear?
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