found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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