I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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