She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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