My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
