Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
