At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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