Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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