party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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