His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize