Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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