I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
