I'm going to jail i love you
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
