My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
