Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
