im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
