someone get that fucking seahorse.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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