yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
