I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't want my vagina anymore.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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