she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
