so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
