it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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