Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
