I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize