what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
