I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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