So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
