I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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