Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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