whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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