Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
