just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
