Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
