So gin and wine won't be happening again
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
