Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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