dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize