Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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