he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
