is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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