Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
