my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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