I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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