I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
