haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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