Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
