Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
