went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize