I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
