Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
