Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
