Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
