its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
