A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
