i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize