in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
