How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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