i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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