I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize